The title of this blog will catch most people by surprise. Most people will think that I’m crazy for thinking that toxic friendships are worst than toxic relationships. Some will say that they cant be compared. And then there will be people who totally agree. I will show you how a toxic friendship is more toxic then a relationship from a woman’s perspective. Of course, this can be applied to men as well; but I am speaking from a woman’s point of view.
When you have toxic friends and negativity around you, that can influence your way of thinking. We go to our friends for comfort, advice and a fun time. They influence our actions and behaviors when we are around them, as well. When you are friends with somebody you are not thinking about how they are effecting your life, in a negative aspect. You think they are a good friend and they have your best interest at heart. But we all know that this might not always be true.
I will use myself as an example. I had a best friend that I was friends with since the 5th grade. We were the best of friends, i mean when you see her you see me and vise versa. She is even mentioned in a chapter in my book “A Father’s Love”. When we were younger we did reckless things that teenagers do, like smoke weed and drink. Although now i only drink on special occasions and i do not smoke weed or partake in any type of drugs, I don’t think i would have done that if i wasn’t friends with her and felt comfortable doing that. This is an example of how friends can influence your behavior. I felt comfortable to do things like this because we were friends and I didn’t feel like she would hurt me or put me in a messed up situation.
Unfortunately, we are no longer friends because we had multiple situations and arguments of her allowing her girlfriends to disrespect me. I am a person that is big on respect. If i wouldn’t allow my man to disrespect you, then you shouldn’t let your girl disrespect me, its just the principle of things. It got so bad and so toxic that i would feel like we were in a emotional abuse relationship. And when you are friends with somebody, you don’t want to throw away years of bonding and genuine friendship. But as a people we grow and we change and if you feel like the people around you aren’t moving and growing with you, then sometimes you have to reevaluate your circle. That is exactly what happened. Although, we are no longer friends, our good times outweighed our bad and i will always wish her the best, i just can’t have a active and functioning relationship that is toxic on my energy and behaviors.
NOW, lets move to relationships. When you are in love and with someone you are going to ARGUE that is a proven fact. The difference between friendships and relationships is that MOST people put a value on friendships….such as BROS OVER HOES…etc. They seem to be able to give up or call it quits in relationships that are just boyfriend and girlfriend because there is this persona that friends are suppose to be forever.
Now I am not saying that EVERYBODY can just move on from relationships. Some people value relationships and friendships exactly the same. Some people get in a relationship and cut off all communication and contact with friends and families and become rapped up in that man or woman’s life. So toxic relationships as a whole are not good in general. But as I mentioned earlier we value friendships more because we feel a sense of convertibility and a sense of forgiveness. When in most relationships especially if we have them young, we don’t HONESTLY think we will be with that person forever, its more of a fantasy and not a reality.
When you end things with a friend it also seems to take longer to recover from, then relationships. There is this saying that you get over relationships half the time you were with them, So if you were with a person for a year, its believed that you will get over them in 6 months. Friendships don’t work like this. If you are friends with somebody and they are either your only or closest friend, its going to take you a little while to move on and put your trust in somebody else. Most people start to think like, “Bitches can’t be trusted” and “I don’t need anymore friends”. 9 times out of 10 a person does not feel like this about relationships. They may feel hurt for a while and want to be single, but they wont just completely give up on love!
Of course, EVERYBODY has their own opinion about this topic! So COMMENT your relation and opinions below!!!!