Can you really be friends with your ex? Can you have a genuine relationship with someone you once loved? Will old feelings come back? Will you resent them for the past? Are you mature enough to see them with someone else? Do you want to be friends?
I have been avoiding this topic because I have had up and down feelings on this based off of experience. I also didn’t want people to look at the title and think oh she must be bashing her ex or something. I gain nothing from that. And who would read a whole blog post about that. 😁 For weeks now I have been reflecting on this topic because it keeps popping up on social media, blogs and television shows. So now I will tackle the topic.
Can you really be friends with an ex? I wanna first say I am not friends with anybody I have dealt with. I am cordial. I am respectful. We talk when we see each other. Hell we even wish each other happy birthday. But friends no. A friend is somebody you can talk to anything about. A friend is somebody who supports you. A friend is somebody who is there for you through thick and thin. They are always there, always supporting, always of service to you when they can be.
Now, think about that definition and tell me if you can do all of that for someone you once loved. Someone you once wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Someone who meant the world to you. The only time I have ever seen this happen is when two people have children together and have a bond that cant be broken. I have seen past couples be invited to each others weddings, and even in the wedding party, hang out with the other couple and more.
But I have not grasped that idea of being friends with an ex. I have tried to be strictly friends with an ex and something always ruined it or happened. Pain and hurt from the relationship. Petty arguments. New relationship envy. When you start off as friends and then enter into a relationship, that idea of going back to how things used to be becomes tricky. And that is where I trip up at. I try to go back to the way things were before, and I know that will never happen.
That OLD friendship is over and in order to “be friends with a ex” you have to start fresh and start new. Willing to forgive and let go. Willing to move past the hurt and pain and REALLY try to build a genuine friendship. And both parties have to be willing and want to put in the work. You don’t have to be friends with an ex. You shouldn’t hold any hurt or resentment in your heart towards that person. If you see them, you should speak and not walk pass them and act like you don’t see them. But you don’t have to be buddy buddy friends, unless that’s something you WANT!
Are you friends with an ex? I would love to hear y’all take on this topic. Let me know in the comment section and don’t forget to comment, like, subscribe and share!